Do you have IM etiquette?

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ADD and IM

Several of my IM contacts get annoyed or offended by me because I have ADD or as I like to term it "attention tunnel vision syndrome" of the computer. I never go on the computer just to chat. I always have something else I'm doing with chatting as an aside. So I'm always switching between tasks and IM, but since I don't give much weight to IM chats, I always leave an IM hanging in the middle of a conversation becasue I've gotten lost in whatever else I was doing (plus I'm a slow reader, so when I read articles online, it can take up to 15 minutes.)

My question is what sort of etiquette guidelines have "industry officials" setup for IM? To me it seems, as you pointed out, that IM chats shouldn't be treated as regular conversations, in that taking a few minutes to reply should be ok. Or perhaps it depends on the circumstances and subject of the conversation. But I've never been able to take IM conversations seriously, regardless what the topic of conversation may be. There's just something about IM that is too flimsy and unsubstantial to warrant unwavering attention and being treated with the same reverence a real conversation should be. I also feel like anything that happens in an IM conversation is sort of "off the record" so to speak. Any offense, rudeness, supposed conveyed subtleties in respect to the way in which someone handles their IM conversation etc... does not count! Or at least no more than 10% of it....

They say that communicating is 90% voice inflection, timing, volume, speed, body language etc.... all of which do not get conveyed in IM except for "LOL" and ":(", ";)", ":P" which really convery very little of the complex human condition; or... a favorite of my exclusively online (dare I say "good") friend of 3 years, aptly named "r", who replies to half of what you say with "-" intending an infinite number of meanings, most of which are lost on me, and unlike "faggedabout it" from the movie "Donnie Brasco", each time the inflection, tone etc. are the same... the dash never changes. I suppose the context does change, though, which with regards to "faggedaboutit", is a large constituent of construing what the Mafiosos' intended meanings are each time they say it, but still, a dash is not a lot to go on. Oh... and I never mentioned what makes up the other 10% of communication: the actual words said in a conversation.

With that said, my advice for engagements in IMing conversations... beware how much weight you give your IM chats before you make such weighty decisions to get married to that funny, mysterious Instant Messenger person you randomly came into contact with online, (although I've heard of instances where two people met after years of IMing each other and are now happily married) or renounce a long and close friendship based on a conversation (or conversations) you mis-interpreted because you only had 10% of what the person was actually feeling and communicating to go by.

--Jason Root.

Posted by: Root16   Posted on: 03/24/04 You are currently: a Guest | Members login | Terms of Use

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