U.S. creates cyberalert system

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I got your CyberAlert System Right Here!

Like this is going to make any difference to stopping or slowing the sophisticated viruses that are being unleashed by script kiddies that are hell bent on causing Chaos because SCO decides to call Linux their "Intellectual Property" or that the RIAA has sued them for downloading Nursery Rhymes. Here's how this will pan out in the event we have a CyberAlert Color Code System:

FUSICA aka Chaos: Severe risk of Viruses, Trojan Horses, Worms or Media Frenzies.

--Propositioned specially trained teams, led by MacGyver, will deploy Duct Tape and Plastic Sheeting.

--AOL log on now says, "Welcome, You've got Anthrax!"

--Closing of all Starbucks, JCrew and cyber caf? stores.

--Shout "Run for your lives, we're all gonna die!"

MAUVE aka Panic: High risk of virus attacks.

--Check of all Airline Passengers for exploding sneakers such as the "Nike Air-Jihads"

--Open all postal mail with Salad Tongs.

-- Shout "Run for your lives, we're all gonna die!"

LAVENDER aka Paranoia: Elevated condition. Significant risk of virus attacks.

--Increase surveillance of critical locations such as cyber caf?s for small groups of agitated cyber dorks.

--Coordinate emergency plans to help dateless wonders get a social life.

--Shout "Run for your lives, we're all gonna die!"

PERIWINKLE aka Apathy: Guarded condition. General risk of virus attack.

--Check for run of Caffeine products by Geeks at Seven/Eleven locations.

--Review and update emergency response procedures on Star Trek Convention overcrowding.

-- Shout "Run for your lives, we're all gonna die!"

SALMON aka Stupor: Low risk of virus attacks.

--Refine and exercise planned protective measures against Laser printers set to "Stun".

--Ensure emergency personnel receive training so that friends don't let friends drink and use Windows.

-- Shout "Run for your lives, we're all gonna die!"

Posted by: icarius   Posted on: 01/28/04 You are currently: a Guest | Members login | Terms of Use

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